The Immortal Prince: A Mörk Borg Fairy Tale

Life was going so well all those years ago for the young Prince Kollsup. Until Blood Countess Anthelia demanded a gift of noble blood. They came for his father that night. He must have been scarred and twisted beyond humanity by the event. He walked away convinced he cannot die because the man that executed his father in front of him told him, “DON’T WORRY KID, I AIN’T GUNNA KILL YA. IN FACT, YOU GUNNA LIVE FOREVER.”

Random PCs created here: SCVMBIRTHER

Random dungeon created here: DNGNGEN

Used solo rules from here: Sölitary Defilement

Used Mork Borg solo oracle: Rühtra’s Oracle

Used this along with the core rules: MÖRK BORG CULT: Feretory

 

My name is Father Belum. I take care of the Immortal Idiot Prince. Also, the end is nigh… fall before my Blasphemous Nechrubel Bible and renounce your sins, yadda, yadda, yadda.

He’s got it in his head that he is going to enact revenge on the Blood Countess. So I must obey my liege and lead him safely to his death. Only an idiot would challenge the Countess.

It’s not bad enough that he’s an idiot, he also carries rare artifacts that have us running for our lives across the Wastland from bandits. Also, I am kneeling this morning in the mud as I pray. Nevertheless, my gods speak through my holy book and I know where we must go.

“Into the Murder Canals,” I tell the Prince.
“You’re fucking crazy, you are.”
I explain to him that in my vision, the gods showed me that a Necromancer has stolen the Blood Countess’s child and has hidden it in that desecrated, half-buried temple.
“What? That over there? I ain’t going in there. Sod off.”

But I convince the Prince we must charge forth into this literal quagmire because the End is Indeed Nigh. The First Misery, as foretold in Psalm 3:2, brought the trees to life north of here in SARKASH. The trees were mad. They got their revenge. As a result, these canals that were once used to move lumber south are shut down, and everyone left any business related to cutting down trees.

No one can stomach the thought of the revenge of the trees, who now live in homes made of human limbs and trunks.

When the Seventh Misery hits, the world ends. So we must press on. Or something like that.

We enter the abandoned place of worship and check the room off to the left. It appears to be the living quarters of the head priest. He was still there. And he was a zombie.

He raked at us with claws and an unholy bloodthirst, so we ran. I was lucky not to be infected by my brief struggle with him. Outside, the Prince helps me with bandages and tries to talk me out of our quest to save the child. He’s an idiot, so I ignore him and we go back in.

We charge forward into the temple and our path is cut off by a cave-in. Possibly a trap. We avoid any harm and explore the areas off to the right.

We pass an empty room in which a ritual of some sort has been violently interrupted. We explore beyond this scene, and I am startled by a Pale One that suddenly appears from the dark. No eyes, pale skin, and man-sized white leathery batwings are enough to frighten me, but the creature does more…

It chants magic I have never heard in my face and then shouts, “FLEE!” Against my will, I leave the Prince behind. I run through the rooms and out the door and stand helplessly looking back.

I have failed my quest to guide and protect him…

But then he exits the temple, completely unharmed. He splits a moldy loaf of bread with me and winks. Then he hands me two unclean magic scrolls. A quick look and I realize he has found me the magic to TURN INVISIBLE and the spell that will grant me TELEKINESIS.

Perhaps I have underestimated this idiot?

Either way, tomorrow we head down into the VALLEY OF THE UNFORTUNATE DEAD. Goblin-infested hills lie ahead.

---

We have spent the last three days struggling to find our way out of the Wastland, but the dark gods have smiled upon us and protected us. I am so happy with our progress that my skin glows with divine power. Or maybe that’s a fever from the tainted meat I ate earlier…

It started roughly… Though we had been moving carefully through the goblin-infested hills, a lone Goblin surprised us. Goblins are mostly manageable in combat, but they carry a curse, passing it to anyone they attack.

I WAS ATTACKED! The curse meant I was doomed to become a Goblin myself unless we killed the infecting Goblin!

Prince Kollsup calmly retrieved a dagger from an expensive sandalwood box bound in snakeskin. He pricked the Goblin, barely breaking the skin, and the creature gasped and fell dead.

AND HE DID IT AGAIN THE NEXT DAY!

We had finally found the road again when a bandit found us. The scum was after the Prince’s necklace (an artifact that allows him to breathe underwater) and Kollsup AGAIN killed him with a fatal prick.

As we have journeyed, the Prince has really changed in my eyes. From an idiot to a homicidal idiot savant.

Ah, but the GOOD NEWS: I got to kill something. Finally.

We were attacked by a couple of nasty critters that Kollsup called Dusk Gnoums. The tiny miscreants hopped and tumbled away from every lunge, so the Prince’s prick was off the table.

My new INVISIBILITY spell suddenly gave ME the advantage. My unseen club attacks smashed in their little heads.

It felt great. It really did. I haven’t felt this great since my younger days, smashing in the heads of unsuspecting woodland creatures while laughing with my buddies at Dark God Summer Church Camp.

“Now we both have a pretty necklace,” says the Prince, offering me a string tied up with the broken and bloody teeth of the dead Gnoums. It was touching, really. I guess you had to have been there.

I’m going to feel a little guilty when we finally reach the Blood Countess. I’m going to turn in the Prince for the huge bounty on his head. Royal blood–like LITERALLY THE BLOOD–is worth a fortune in these final days of Misery.

I’m going to take the money and retire. Thinking bout buying a boat…

---

After wandering through the cold the next day, we found a simply horrible village run by bandits. We found shelter from the cold in the Grey Galth Inn. Somehow Prince Kollsup managed to negotiate a crew of miscreants to go with us to Allians without getting us killed.

We hitched a ride north the next day to confront the Blood Countess.

I spent the next days of traveling trying to work out how I could trick the Prince into surrendering. I was distracted in my thoughts by the rapidly occurring Seven Miseries. Six of the oracle’s predictions have ALREADY come true. Firey rocks fall from the sky, a frigid chill sweeps across the land, and the dead are digging their way from their graves.

I told you the End was Nigh. Told you.

Once we arrive in the zombie-filled, but otherwise nice, city of Allians, we marvel at the palace of the Blood Countess. The gardens are full of fountains flowing with blood. A LOT of blood. It’s horrific. Kudos to the landscaping crew.

The Prince mutters something to his crew and they scatter off excitedly. He turns to me and unfastens his armor. It drops to the ground. “Turn me in for the bounty, Father,” the Prince says solemnly.

I’m surprised at how easy this is becoming, but I try to act, like, normal surprised. I ask the Prince why.

“I want to look her in the eyes and let her know how I feel,” he replies. He holds up a piece of paper and shoves his torch into my one good hand. I have a hook for the other hand. Did I mention that? Well, I have a hook for a hand. So now you know.

“I have a poem I want to read to her,” grumbles the Prince. A poem. This makes me feel slightly less guilty that he is about to die.

OMG, she is horrific now. The Blood Countess was actually kinda cute years ago, but now she’s just an animal thing. Yikes, woman.

The Prince and I stand next in line to greet the Countess. She’s not even in her throne. Just huddled in front of some poor lady wearing a crown. We watch as the Countess removes the lady’s head with a swipe.

We are next.

I have to run quickly to catch up with the Prince–he strides forward and kneels, with his hands behind his back. A pose of sacrifice.

“GET OVER HERE AND LISTEN TO MY POEM, YOU ****!”
Blood Countess Anthelia leaps over to him, dropping the skull of her previous victim at his feet. He starts to read.

Except it wasn’t an idiotic emo poem as I expected. Instead, it was a DEATH scroll, and he read the demonic language perfectly… right in Anthelia’s face. But also right next to ME. Uh-oh.
Her skin evaporated and her bones turned to powder. She was a blob of blood and chiffon and a crown. Which the Prince took for himself.

“This is my crown now. It’s totally my crown.”

Miraculously I was fine, even though I should also be dead from the spell. But the Prince had handed me an Immortality Torch, which protected me. He said he found it on the bandit he killed in the road. He also admitted to finding the DEATH scroll in the same temple as the INVISIBILITY scroll he had given me. Sneaky devil.

It was a well-deserved victory for the Prince. Also, the world ended the next day.

THE END